Ken M Middleton Views
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Sleep - How Dreaming Too Much Kills Your Dreams
Man, don't we all love that feeling of getting into a nice clean bed and knowing that we have hours upon hours to "rest our eyes" and re-energize for the next day. Don't we also equally HATE when that alarm clock goes off in the morning when we have to wake up. I somewhat experienced that this morning after a night of binge watching Game of Thrones with my girlfriend (mostly the screen watched her as she passed out after the 1st episode, but I'm almost to the end of Season 3 and just saw the The Red Wedding - Unbelievable!) when my alarm clock went off, and I instantly reasoned with myself that I didn't have enough sleep. It was 5am and I went to bed around 11pm the night before. I usually try to get 6.5 hours each night, so I reset my alarm clock for 6am and then did the usual lay down to see if I could go back to sleep. Usually, if I don't get right back to sleep within 5 minutes, I get up because I'm generally telling myself I don't still really need more sleep as opposed to feeling like I do. I closed my eyes for what I felt was 5 minutes when EH EH EH EH! My Iphone went off. I got up to write this morning's blog feeling a little guilty because I probably should've set my alarm for 5:30 instead because the extra 30 minutes were not needed. The reason I felt so guilty about this is because I am a person that truly feels like sleep can be a huge enemy to one's success. Even though I only slept for 30 minutes longer than I usually do, my mind instantly went to all the different things I could've accomplished in those 30 minutes. This led me to think about all the people who consistently indulge in sleep (my mind goes back me when I was 12 and would sleep until noon on the weekends) and how people don't realize that they are doing such a disservice to themselves in terms of achieving their life goals. There are several main reasons this is true:
YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO WANT TO SLEEP MORE
Many people don't consider themselves morning people, and while I must say I have been lucky to not have this issue as of yet, the reason I think many people have a tough time in the morning is because they have a largely positive affinity for the feeling of sleep. Sleep can be like a drug if we're not careful because of the positive feeling it gives us when we're doing it. And like any drug, the decision to indulge in it and allow it control our lives often makes it tougher to overcome with time. This generally leads to a life of mediocrity or no success. Oftentimes, regardless of how much we may have slept, we wake up a little groggy and tired and then we convince ourselves that we need just a "little" more sleep to feel 100%. The problem with this is that we are comparing what we desire to feel at that time (100 alertness and fervor for the day) with how we are currently feeling having just come out of REM (grogginess and a haze). The fallacy with this comparison is that we are very rarely going to naturally wake up WITHOUT that feeling of grogginess when we are so used to sleeping based on what our bodies are telling us. Therefore, to use that as a barometer is like using the feeling of excitement and joy of going to the gym. This excitement for the gym feeling can be developed over time, however, but it doesn't happen naturally. This often happens after one sees the results of their commitment to go to they gym no matter how they feel. You can do the same with sleep by picking a designated amount of sleep you are going to get and then sticking to that regardless of how you feel when you wake up that morning. Once you start to see the positive results you will experience by waking up earlier and getting more accomplished, you will be excited to start your day to do more. According to WebMD, the average person needs between 6-9 hours of sleep. For each person, however, you have to decide what is the optimal amount for you. I figured this out by decreasing my sleep time tremendously and analyzing my results on those days. Over time, I settled on 6.5 as the optimal amount to feel energized and ready to dominate the day. You have to experiment with yourself a little to figure out what your body actually NEEDS versus what it WANTS because it is different for everyone. While this reason is very important, the next reason should hit home even more when you think about achieving great things in life.
IF YOU'RE NOT GAINING, YOU'RE LOSING
Life is primarily about trade-offs. You can't spend more time doing one thing without sacrificing that time to do something else. While sleep is necessary physiologically to recharge your natural functions each day, overindulgence only deteriorates your ability to incrementally improve yourself each day. We only have so much time in a day (86,400 seconds to be exact), and how we choose to spend each second of that will be a direct reflection on where we stand in life. When you decide to sleep longer than you should and just "chill" in bed, you are putting yourself at a great disadvantage to those you are competing against who are using that time to improve their abilities in some manner. As with anything, if you are not consciously working to improve your ability or plight in life with each second you have, then you are generally making it worse. By identifying your optimal amount of sleep and sticking to it, you are ensuring yourself that you are not "wasting" any time lying in bed while you could be applying yourself in a number of different ways to continually move the ball in a positive direction. The opportunity cost of oversleeping is huge when you consider the next reason you have to limit the amount of sleep you get.
TIME IS THE ONLY INVESTMENT YOU CANT GET BACK
As have others, I've lost a decent amount of money on the stock market. Trying to invest in the next "hot" thing has proven detrimental to my net worth, so I've learned to stay the path of incremental gains to ensure the security of my wealth. I still may take a risk here and there when there is a large opportunity for gain with a small, calculated risk. When these investments don't initially work out, however, I generally don't freak out because I know that there is time to recover and make up for what I lost. When it comes to the investment of time, however, there is absolutely no way to recover the time you may have lost. And until Doc Brown invents that time-traveling Delorean for Marty McFly, this will always be the case. For that reason, it is ultimately imperative that we spend our time appropriately by doing the things that will continually move us forward versus sleeping. Some of the most famous people in history understood this fact and applied it to their lives by limiting the amount of sleep they had to make sure they were able to get more done and achieve more during their lifetimes. Often, you don't have to be smarter than others, you just need to be willing to work harder and more to achieve more - something that anyone can do if they commit themselves to it.
Sleep. We all love it. There is nothing better than laying your head down on a Billy D. Williams-like cool pillow and drifting off into Lala land. And while we all may enjoy the dreams of grandiose adventures and success that we may experience while sleeping, if we spend less time do this and more time working, we just might be able to make those dreams come true in real life.
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and MBA graduate of Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech. You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN.
This is a personal blog post. Statements, views and opinions expressed via LinkedIn and other platforms do not necessarily represent the perceptions, opinions, beliefs and attitudes of TEKsystems. TEKsystems specifically disclaims any responsibility or liability for any losses or damages of any kind suffered by a user resulting from postings or links on social media platforms, including, but not limited to, losses or damages resulting from fraud, misstatements and misunderstandings. TEKsystems does not control or guarantee the accuracy, relevance, timeliness or completeness of the information contained or linked.
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Why Semi-Annual Reviews are a Must!
I.Why wait until the end of the year?
As we all know, procrastination is the cause of so many individual's failures in life. For that reason, I have never been a big fan of waiting until the end of the year to take stock in one's performance with any endeavor. For many of us, we may have completely forgotten some of the ideas that we committed to on January 1st, and if we don't take a minute to remind ourselves, these things will be completely lost in the day to day hustle of life. By doing a mid-year review, you give yourself the opportunity to do a quick "gut-check" on how faithful you have been to the ideas you focused on earlier in the year. If you've done a good job, now would be a great time to celebrate this commitment and pat yourself on the back. Small victories and congratulations to ourselves are those little things that can typically keep us motivated when times may get hard. If you haven't done a good job and notice several things that you may have slipped on, now would be a great time to rededicate yourself to the task at hand.
II. It gives you the opportunity to check your progress and adjust accordingly
Often, when we are excited about all the amazing things we are going to do at the beginning of the year, we sometimes over-commit ourselves to various endeavors that may not be realistic in light of different circumstances in our lives. Life is very unpredictable and your situation at January 1 may be drastically different from your current situation. Therefore, the act of semi-annual evaluation of your yearly goals make sense because you may need to adjust them accordingly to make sure they are Attainable and Relevant (two of the important aspects of SMART goals) to your current situations. If they are not A and R, instead of continuing to shoot for something that may not make the most sense for your current situation, why not adjust accordingly to still give yourself a sense of accomplishment for the end of the year? When Tiger Woods has a bad first round (which he seems to have a lot of lately), he knows that it is unrealistic (or at least a stretch) for him to win the tournament, so he adjusts and creates smaller goals for himself, i.e. making the cut, shooting under par, or having a bogey-free round. By doing this, you give yourself something to shoot for that will keep you motivated. On the flip side, if you have completely dominated your goals for the year so far, it may give you a chance to adjust them to be greater than what you originally expected. You may have only thought you were capable of achieving employee of the quarter at the beginning of the year but, after winning it two quarters in a row, you now realize you have a shot at employee of the year if you keep up your activity. Why not go for it, by adjusting your behaviors and commitment to reach that goal.
III. Iterative analysis is the tool of the successful
Many people don't take the to time to truly analyze if what they are doing is helping or hurting them in the long run. Often, when they commit to an idea and create several approaches to solve the problem, they go forward full steam ahead, not taking a minute to evaluate if what they are doing is actually working. By performing a mid-year review, you are putting yourself in the minority - the minority of people who take time to evaluate the success of their ideas so far and take a different track if necessary. Sometimes, you don't need to change your ideas, as much as you need to implement different strategies and approaches to achieve your ideas. By doing a mid-year review, you give yourself the opportunity to make these adjustments accordingly to greatly increase your chances of success. To truly take it a step further, those who are successful often analyze more frequently than this, from monthly, to weekly, to even daily. The faster you identify a mistake, the faster you have the chance to fix it and put yourself on the right side of success.
Mid-year reviews. At work, some of us have been conditioned to hate mid-year reviews because we see them typically as a "here's what you've done wrong so far this year" session. However, if we take a little bit of a different view of this situation, we would understand they are really "here's how you can make your year better than it already is" dialogue. By doing this ourselves on where we stand in life and not only work, we greatly increase our ability to be successful in all facets of our world, not just in the place in which we are paid...which is still very important, BTW. ;-)
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and MBA graduate of Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech. You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN.
This is a personal blog post. Statements, views and opinions expressed via LinkedIn and other platforms do not necessarily represent the perceptions, opinions, beliefs and attitudes of TEKsystems. TEKsystems specifically disclaims any responsibility or liability for any losses or damages of any kind suffered by a user resulting from postings or links on social media platforms, including, but not limited to, losses or damages resulting from fraud, misstatements and misunderstandings. TEKsystems does not control or guarantee the accuracy, relevance, timeliness or completeness of the information contained or linked.
Labels:
Analysis,
Goals,
Review,
Self-Improvement
Location:
Dunwoody, GA, USA
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Birthdays - Why They are SO Awesome!
So today I turn the big 35 today, and I'm super excited! At 35, I've experienced a lot of great things but I still have way more to do! I'm a year older and wiser (hopefully) and should have the ability to make much better decisions with my time and money. There are those who think that a birthday is just another day and some who actually dread getting older. I couldn't disagree more! Birthdays are amazing times in our lives, and we should celebrate each one to the max! There are numerous reasons why birthdays are special, but here are some of the three main ones that come to the forefront of my mind:
GREAT TIME TO REFLECT
Birthdays are great because they only happen once a year. Annually is a great rhythm to self-reflect and assess what you did for the previous year and how that translated into where you currently are. At age 34 this time last year, there were a number of different things I desired to accomplish within a year's time frame. I thought about the actions I needed to implement for each of those goals and then put a plan in place to make it happen. As I reflect now back on those goals, I didn't achieve all of them. So I have to ask myself why not and then make the necessary adjustments to prevent this from happening again. During your birthday, you can think about the people who are in your life then and where you would be if there weren't there. For some, this could be a positive thing, as you think about all the people who have helped you over the past year when things may have gotten tough. For others, this may be a negative thing, as you reflect on the people who added no value to your life and actually hurt you more than helped. Probably time to put those people in their proper "bucket" - read my post on "buckets of friends" if you don't know what this means.
GREAT TIME TO REDEDICATE
As a result of this reflection and understanding of what you could've done better and differently, your birthday is a fantastic time to challenge yourself to make any necessary changes you need to be more successful for the upcoming year. Even if you had a stellar year from a work and family perspective, this is still an opportunity to identify how you can become an even better employee, husband, mother, etc. By taking some time to identify where your gaps are and how you can work on them, you give yourself a much better chance of reaching the goals that you desire for that following year. Birthdays are also great milestone markers, as you can get a sense of where you are with your age in relation to what you have or have not accomplished. For example, at 30, most people would like to have a solid career in place and be a home owner. If you have not yet purchased a home and are still trying to find a career that "suits" you at this age, then you may want to reevaluate the decisions and choices you've made in life up to that point. For many, 40 is an age in which you would want to be financially stable and well on the way to an executive role of some kind within your company. If this isn't something you see as on your radar at age 35 (this would be the situation I'm in), then you need to put a plan in place to see how you can get there in five years. Birthdays just give us a perspective on where we are in our life in relation to how long we've lived and hopefully puts a kick in our behinds to rededicate ourselves if we are not where we should be.
GREAT TIME TO PARTY!
Anyone who truly knows me knows there is no one who likes to have more of a good time than me. I work extremely hard every day, but I always make time for my friends and to have a little fun "hitting the streets" as I say. Birthdays are special because the are generally the one day that you don't have to share with anyone else. Everyone is celebrating New Year's Eve, Cinco De Mayo, and St Patty's Day. For anniversaries or graduations, you are sharing this with your spouse or some other group of people. But for birthdays, unless you have a twin or just know someone who happens to have the same birthday as you (which I actually know two people who share mine...which is weird), the day is completely yours and no one else's. This way you can celebrate all the great things you've been able to accomplish with your friends and have an excuse to dance a little harder, spend a little more, and act a little sillier and crazier than usual...something we could all use from time to time.
Birthdays. While they can be somewhat scary for some, they should be a positive time in people's lives. Whether you use them as a time to reflect on all the things you were or weren't able to accomplish the previous year, rededicate yourself to your cause of success for the upcoming the year, or just take time to appreciate the fact you are alive and enjoy it for this year, there are many reasons why one should think so. And while I'm sure we would all love to stay the same age after we turn 25, the reality is that this just isn't the case. Therefore, why not learn something new each year to make yourself smarter, wiser, and that much more successful...because if you can't keep your youth, you might as well have some knowledge, experiences, and money to show for it.
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and MBA graduate of Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduation is Sunday!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
GREAT TIME TO REFLECT
Birthdays are great because they only happen once a year. Annually is a great rhythm to self-reflect and assess what you did for the previous year and how that translated into where you currently are. At age 34 this time last year, there were a number of different things I desired to accomplish within a year's time frame. I thought about the actions I needed to implement for each of those goals and then put a plan in place to make it happen. As I reflect now back on those goals, I didn't achieve all of them. So I have to ask myself why not and then make the necessary adjustments to prevent this from happening again. During your birthday, you can think about the people who are in your life then and where you would be if there weren't there. For some, this could be a positive thing, as you think about all the people who have helped you over the past year when things may have gotten tough. For others, this may be a negative thing, as you reflect on the people who added no value to your life and actually hurt you more than helped. Probably time to put those people in their proper "bucket" - read my post on "buckets of friends" if you don't know what this means.
GREAT TIME TO REDEDICATE
As a result of this reflection and understanding of what you could've done better and differently, your birthday is a fantastic time to challenge yourself to make any necessary changes you need to be more successful for the upcoming year. Even if you had a stellar year from a work and family perspective, this is still an opportunity to identify how you can become an even better employee, husband, mother, etc. By taking some time to identify where your gaps are and how you can work on them, you give yourself a much better chance of reaching the goals that you desire for that following year. Birthdays are also great milestone markers, as you can get a sense of where you are with your age in relation to what you have or have not accomplished. For example, at 30, most people would like to have a solid career in place and be a home owner. If you have not yet purchased a home and are still trying to find a career that "suits" you at this age, then you may want to reevaluate the decisions and choices you've made in life up to that point. For many, 40 is an age in which you would want to be financially stable and well on the way to an executive role of some kind within your company. If this isn't something you see as on your radar at age 35 (this would be the situation I'm in), then you need to put a plan in place to see how you can get there in five years. Birthdays just give us a perspective on where we are in our life in relation to how long we've lived and hopefully puts a kick in our behinds to rededicate ourselves if we are not where we should be.
GREAT TIME TO PARTY!
Anyone who truly knows me knows there is no one who likes to have more of a good time than me. I work extremely hard every day, but I always make time for my friends and to have a little fun "hitting the streets" as I say. Birthdays are special because the are generally the one day that you don't have to share with anyone else. Everyone is celebrating New Year's Eve, Cinco De Mayo, and St Patty's Day. For anniversaries or graduations, you are sharing this with your spouse or some other group of people. But for birthdays, unless you have a twin or just know someone who happens to have the same birthday as you (which I actually know two people who share mine...which is weird), the day is completely yours and no one else's. This way you can celebrate all the great things you've been able to accomplish with your friends and have an excuse to dance a little harder, spend a little more, and act a little sillier and crazier than usual...something we could all use from time to time.
Birthdays. While they can be somewhat scary for some, they should be a positive time in people's lives. Whether you use them as a time to reflect on all the things you were or weren't able to accomplish the previous year, rededicate yourself to your cause of success for the upcoming the year, or just take time to appreciate the fact you are alive and enjoy it for this year, there are many reasons why one should think so. And while I'm sure we would all love to stay the same age after we turn 25, the reality is that this just isn't the case. Therefore, why not learn something new each year to make yourself smarter, wiser, and that much more successful...because if you can't keep your youth, you might as well have some knowledge, experiences, and money to show for it.
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and MBA graduate of Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduation is Sunday!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
Saturday, April 18, 2015
"Just Try it for a Day" Philosophy
Recently one of my friends asked me about some of the good habits I implement each day and how I have so much self-discipline. That made me think back to when some of these habits started and an interesting reality hit me. It wasn't that I was doing anything special or had any grandiose ideas of what I would be able to accomplish with each new habit. I just had an idea that a particular new habit or hobby might be good to develop and then I started doing it. It led me to recall that a lot of the different things in my life that turned out to provide tremendous value in what I've been able to accomplish were related to one specific mindset that has proven hugely beneficial over the course of time. And this specific mindset can be summed up in six words "Just Try it for a Day." "Just Try it for a Day" has been a tremendous ground breaking secret for me as it has helped me stop potential addictions or bad habits to certain things, while continually working to develop and shape good habits that have helped me out in life. There are several reasons this philosophy works:
MOMENTUM IS POWERFUL
The secret to the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy is that the power of momentum is magical. How often did you start a new habit and, at first, it was super hard? You had to almost battle each day to force yourself to do it, but once you got on a roll for a bit, it became easier and easier. You start to see a little bit of results from the fruits of your labor and then became even more motivated to work harder. The harder work from this increased motivation then yielded even better and quicker results, which then encouraged you to work even harder, and so forth and so on. Momentum is a powerful driver that works like a car alternator. It needs some outside energy to begin working, but once it gets going, it begins to feed itself and keep the battery continuously energized to work as long as needed to reach the destination. Also, just like any car, you may need to replace the battery from time to time when you get into a rut or cannot seem to get over a hump, but that can be solved with another "Just Try it for a Day" commitment that allows you to start/stop another habit that can change the results of your labor. What naturally occurs is the "Just Try it for a Day" turns into "Just Try it for a Week" that turns into "Just Try it for a Month" and so forth and so on until you forgot what life was like before you "tried" it.
SMALL STEPS ARE BETTER THAN NO STEPS
Often in life, when we think about stopping some habit that is making our life difficult or getting away from someone who is toxic to our success in life, we often think about how hard doing this would be because we are so used to this habit or individual in our lives. We've been doing it for so long that the thought of not having this particular person or thing in our lives seems impossible over the course of our long future. We also do this when we think about starting something new because we think about all the tremendous amount of work and effort we would probably have to put into it to be successful. What many don't realize, however, is that it takes just one small step to put us on the path to this goal to make all the difference. If your goal is to lose 20lbs, don't think about all the tremendous work that this will take. That would be too daunting of a task and depress you. Just focus on what you need to do TODAY to get a little closer to that goal. If it's go to the gym, then just go to the gym TODAY and see how it feels. If it's to eat better, just focus on what you need to eat TODAY to achieve your goal. Don't worry too much about tomorrow or what you did yesterday, just focus on doing what you need to do on that given day. If there is someone in your life who you know isn't good for you, just try going without allowing this person to affect your life for one day and get a sense of how you thought it went. Often, many people get so discouraged at how intimidating some new task may be that they end up doing nothing at all and remaining in the same position they were yesterday. By implementing the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy, you are breaking this dangerous cycle and taking control of your life.
YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN WILLPOWER
Often, people don't think they have it inside of them to have the discipline to do the things it takes to be successful. They will say things like "There's no way I could go without eating sweets" or "I could never be in the gym three days per week." These thoughts are self-limiting because people don't truly understand the power they have as an individual. Everyone is born with the ability to live a highly-disciplined, successful life, and with the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy, people will generally realize they can do what they thought they couldn't. Believing in yourself can be hard when thinking about how much effort something will take over the course of years, but not so much when you think about how much it will take for a day. Many people are much stronger mentally than they think and by implementing the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy, you are tapping into some of this will power and giving yourself the opportunity to become the person you've always desired.
Our brain is a wonderful thing, as it allows us to analyze the world and make sense of what is going on. What it also does, however, is often allows us to create our own perception of who we are based on how we may perceive ourselves. The saying of "those who say they can and those who say they can't are both right" relates directly to this perception, as you create your reality. While, admittedly, looking at a new task in the light of what it will take to be successful 5 years down the road can be a bit intimidating, with the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy, you are only asked to do this for one day to see if you have the wherewithal to stay on course. That's only 24 hours. And you can do anything for 24 hours, can't you? Ask Mark Jordan.
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduate in May! - Whoop Whoop!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
MOMENTUM IS POWERFUL
The secret to the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy is that the power of momentum is magical. How often did you start a new habit and, at first, it was super hard? You had to almost battle each day to force yourself to do it, but once you got on a roll for a bit, it became easier and easier. You start to see a little bit of results from the fruits of your labor and then became even more motivated to work harder. The harder work from this increased motivation then yielded even better and quicker results, which then encouraged you to work even harder, and so forth and so on. Momentum is a powerful driver that works like a car alternator. It needs some outside energy to begin working, but once it gets going, it begins to feed itself and keep the battery continuously energized to work as long as needed to reach the destination. Also, just like any car, you may need to replace the battery from time to time when you get into a rut or cannot seem to get over a hump, but that can be solved with another "Just Try it for a Day" commitment that allows you to start/stop another habit that can change the results of your labor. What naturally occurs is the "Just Try it for a Day" turns into "Just Try it for a Week" that turns into "Just Try it for a Month" and so forth and so on until you forgot what life was like before you "tried" it.
SMALL STEPS ARE BETTER THAN NO STEPS
Often in life, when we think about stopping some habit that is making our life difficult or getting away from someone who is toxic to our success in life, we often think about how hard doing this would be because we are so used to this habit or individual in our lives. We've been doing it for so long that the thought of not having this particular person or thing in our lives seems impossible over the course of our long future. We also do this when we think about starting something new because we think about all the tremendous amount of work and effort we would probably have to put into it to be successful. What many don't realize, however, is that it takes just one small step to put us on the path to this goal to make all the difference. If your goal is to lose 20lbs, don't think about all the tremendous work that this will take. That would be too daunting of a task and depress you. Just focus on what you need to do TODAY to get a little closer to that goal. If it's go to the gym, then just go to the gym TODAY and see how it feels. If it's to eat better, just focus on what you need to eat TODAY to achieve your goal. Don't worry too much about tomorrow or what you did yesterday, just focus on doing what you need to do on that given day. If there is someone in your life who you know isn't good for you, just try going without allowing this person to affect your life for one day and get a sense of how you thought it went. Often, many people get so discouraged at how intimidating some new task may be that they end up doing nothing at all and remaining in the same position they were yesterday. By implementing the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy, you are breaking this dangerous cycle and taking control of your life.
YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN WILLPOWER
Often, people don't think they have it inside of them to have the discipline to do the things it takes to be successful. They will say things like "There's no way I could go without eating sweets" or "I could never be in the gym three days per week." These thoughts are self-limiting because people don't truly understand the power they have as an individual. Everyone is born with the ability to live a highly-disciplined, successful life, and with the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy, people will generally realize they can do what they thought they couldn't. Believing in yourself can be hard when thinking about how much effort something will take over the course of years, but not so much when you think about how much it will take for a day. Many people are much stronger mentally than they think and by implementing the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy, you are tapping into some of this will power and giving yourself the opportunity to become the person you've always desired.
Our brain is a wonderful thing, as it allows us to analyze the world and make sense of what is going on. What it also does, however, is often allows us to create our own perception of who we are based on how we may perceive ourselves. The saying of "those who say they can and those who say they can't are both right" relates directly to this perception, as you create your reality. While, admittedly, looking at a new task in the light of what it will take to be successful 5 years down the road can be a bit intimidating, with the "Just Try it for a Day" philosophy, you are only asked to do this for one day to see if you have the wherewithal to stay on course. That's only 24 hours. And you can do anything for 24 hours, can't you? Ask Mark Jordan.
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduate in May! - Whoop Whoop!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Rationing your Friends - How to Evaluate the People in Your Life.
I was out with a group of friends the other day and one of them wanted to go to day party on Saturday in Atlanta - Atlanta is famous for the day turn-up when the weather is nice. I promptly told him that I couldn't make it because I had a lot of work to do for work and school. He immediately began berating me on why couldn't I do the work first thing that morning and still come out. My other friend, however, said he might be able to make it, but he had a lot of things he wanted to do tomorrow, himself. He also told my other friend to stop giving me such a hard time because getting an MBA isn't easy when you're working a 60 hour week job because you have to make sacrifices. This exchange sparked a thought in my mind in the difference between the two guys. One of the guys (the day party-goer) was the type of guy who jumped around from job to job because he couldn't ever really find out what "fit" him, while the other guy (the maybe day party-goer) had been on the same job for the past five years and was working on getting a certain certification to get a raise soon. I thought about the difference between the two and decided it was no coincidence that I spend much more time with the latter than the former, based on our natural shared interest and common goals. These led to begin thinking about all the different "friends" I have in my life and how I evaluate with whom I spend my time. They say your income will be within 10% of the people that you spend the majority of your time with. For that reason, it matters tremendously with whom you spend your time and how much. To be able to judge who should get more of your time versus who should get less, there are three simple questions that you can ask that will help you make this decision.
DO THEY BRING YOU UP OR DOWN?
We all have those friends who typically are more discouraging than encouraging when you hang around them. They are those people who generally slip in a slight comment here and there about the way you dress or your attempt at achieving some goal. They have a tendency to want to downplay any significant achievement you may have, while making sure to put the spotlight on any mistake you might make. These are the people that you dread telling about something that went wrong in your life because they are either going to say "I told you so" or not let you hear the end of it. On the other hand, you have those friends who typically don't judge you. They admit their mistakes to you and, more often than not, are always encouraging you to forget about your mistakes and keeping looking toward the future. You can recognize the difference in the two by sharing a goal you may have for the future. The positive one will be excited about your goal and then begin asking questions about how you plan to achieve it. The negative one will immediately begin talking about all the traps that could decrease your chances of being successful and begin giving you reasons why you should choose an alternative idea - a way of thinking that could prove useful but not without first giving you encouragement about pursuing your idea if it's what you desire to do.
ARE THEY ON THE SAME LEVEL OR FURTHER THAN YOU IN THEIR LIFE/CAREER?
This one is rather easy to figure out. You just have to look at what they have accomplished in their lives and how successful they are in their career to get a sense of where your relationship should stand. As mentioned earlier, most people earn within 10% of the people that they spend the majority of their time. Therefore, if you friends are all making significantly less than you, there is good chance your income will decrease instead of increase over time. On the other side, if you are surrounding yourself with individuals who are making the same or much more than you, than you are putting yourself in a situation in which you will have access to ideas and opportunities that will put you in a higher tax bracket down the road. The reason this works so well is because when you hang around people who are as successful or more successful than you, they have a sense of what it took to get there and what opportunities one can create with hard work and sacrifice. Therefore, when you tell them about a goal that will require tremendous effort and sacrifice, they are on-board to have your back because they may have achieved something comparable. They are going to encourage you to make these sacrifices, not skirt your responsibility.
ARE THEY ALWAYS TAKING OR GIVING
This question can be applied to your friends and also your family members. Whether if it's your energy, money, or advice, do these individuals always attempt to take something from you rather than give you something? Do you have that person in your life who is ALWAYS asking to borrow money. And even though he or she pays it back, it's the fact that over the course of years, they haven't figured out the right decisions to not put themselves in that situation. That's someone whom you must limited your time with. Are there those people who always come to you with their problems. They are the SAME problems that you just gave them advice about six months ago, but yet they haven't done anything different to change their situation. Does their negativity from their life situation have a tendency to drain you of your positive energy? These are the people with whom you have to ration your time because they will continue to take what you allow them to take from you. On the flip side, if you have people who bring positive energy to a situation, are always encouraging, and generally are trying to help bring solutions to your life rather than problems, then you have someone that you should definitely work to spend more time with.
Friends. There are all different groups of them in your life. You have to make sure that you are taking the time to evaluate how spend your time with them to make sure you are giving yourself the best chance to be successful. Ideally, you would want to spend the majority of your time with the people who fit in all three groups. However, the reality is that this is sometimes not the case, and you just have to ration your time with the individuals who fit in one or two of the categories accordingly, while continuing to put yourself in social settings in which you can have more access to those who fit into all three. And on the flip side, you need to consistently do an evaluation of yourself to make sure you're being the type of friend that fits into all three categories to your friends Because, if not, instead of being the "rationer", you'll find yourself being the "rationed."
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduate in May! - Whoop Whoop!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
DO THEY BRING YOU UP OR DOWN?
We all have those friends who typically are more discouraging than encouraging when you hang around them. They are those people who generally slip in a slight comment here and there about the way you dress or your attempt at achieving some goal. They have a tendency to want to downplay any significant achievement you may have, while making sure to put the spotlight on any mistake you might make. These are the people that you dread telling about something that went wrong in your life because they are either going to say "I told you so" or not let you hear the end of it. On the other hand, you have those friends who typically don't judge you. They admit their mistakes to you and, more often than not, are always encouraging you to forget about your mistakes and keeping looking toward the future. You can recognize the difference in the two by sharing a goal you may have for the future. The positive one will be excited about your goal and then begin asking questions about how you plan to achieve it. The negative one will immediately begin talking about all the traps that could decrease your chances of being successful and begin giving you reasons why you should choose an alternative idea - a way of thinking that could prove useful but not without first giving you encouragement about pursuing your idea if it's what you desire to do.
ARE THEY ON THE SAME LEVEL OR FURTHER THAN YOU IN THEIR LIFE/CAREER?
This one is rather easy to figure out. You just have to look at what they have accomplished in their lives and how successful they are in their career to get a sense of where your relationship should stand. As mentioned earlier, most people earn within 10% of the people that they spend the majority of their time. Therefore, if you friends are all making significantly less than you, there is good chance your income will decrease instead of increase over time. On the other side, if you are surrounding yourself with individuals who are making the same or much more than you, than you are putting yourself in a situation in which you will have access to ideas and opportunities that will put you in a higher tax bracket down the road. The reason this works so well is because when you hang around people who are as successful or more successful than you, they have a sense of what it took to get there and what opportunities one can create with hard work and sacrifice. Therefore, when you tell them about a goal that will require tremendous effort and sacrifice, they are on-board to have your back because they may have achieved something comparable. They are going to encourage you to make these sacrifices, not skirt your responsibility.
ARE THEY ALWAYS TAKING OR GIVING
This question can be applied to your friends and also your family members. Whether if it's your energy, money, or advice, do these individuals always attempt to take something from you rather than give you something? Do you have that person in your life who is ALWAYS asking to borrow money. And even though he or she pays it back, it's the fact that over the course of years, they haven't figured out the right decisions to not put themselves in that situation. That's someone whom you must limited your time with. Are there those people who always come to you with their problems. They are the SAME problems that you just gave them advice about six months ago, but yet they haven't done anything different to change their situation. Does their negativity from their life situation have a tendency to drain you of your positive energy? These are the people with whom you have to ration your time because they will continue to take what you allow them to take from you. On the flip side, if you have people who bring positive energy to a situation, are always encouraging, and generally are trying to help bring solutions to your life rather than problems, then you have someone that you should definitely work to spend more time with.
Friends. There are all different groups of them in your life. You have to make sure that you are taking the time to evaluate how spend your time with them to make sure you are giving yourself the best chance to be successful. Ideally, you would want to spend the majority of your time with the people who fit in all three groups. However, the reality is that this is sometimes not the case, and you just have to ration your time with the individuals who fit in one or two of the categories accordingly, while continuing to put yourself in social settings in which you can have more access to those who fit into all three. And on the flip side, you need to consistently do an evaluation of yourself to make sure you're being the type of friend that fits into all three categories to your friends Because, if not, instead of being the "rationer", you'll find yourself being the "rationed."
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduate in May! - Whoop Whoop!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Tree People versus Forest People - Who Has the Advantage in Life?
I recently had someone comment on my blog about a mistake I made in my grammar. I definitely appreciated it because no one wants something that has your name attached to it to have any recognizable mistakes if you can help it. What was interesting about this person's comment, however, was that he felt the mistake made it hard for the rest of the blog to have any credibility. While I can see where this person is coming from in some respect, the actual nature of the blog had nothing to do with grammatical mistakes or how to make sure your work is always perfect. In my opinion, the mistake that person made was the classic case of missing the forest for the trees and letting truly inconsequential stuff play a much bigger part in one's life than should be. Often there are those who take a myopic view of things and make decisions based on what they can only clearly see in front of them, as opposed to thinking about the larger, overarching purpose and view of something. This particular blog was about how to have the entrepreneurial mindset to be successful and this person was hung up on the difference between "your" and "you're." This person was caught up on a "tree" that might have been a little ugly and worn rather than looking at the entire body of the "forest" that may have been beautiful. He's clearly what I would call a Tree person - someone who focuses on smaller things before they take into context the bigger picture. On the other hand, however, Forest People are those who are more strategic thinkers and are always focused on the long term and what's truly MOST important, rather than just what's in front there. There are number advantages to being a Forest Person:
BETTER ROOT-CAUSE ANALYSIS
Tree People have a tendency to only look at what's immediately in front of them to understand a problem and, sometimes, very quickly jump to conclusions about the nature of problem. Therefore, Tree People typically try to fix problems with solutions that may not be anywhere near what is needed. Due to the fact these individuals are often very short-sighted in their scope of thinking, they immediately associate the easiest answer to a problem that appears apparent. If you don't get a project completed on time, it's because you're lazy. If you are over-weight, it's because you eat bad. If you don't get good grades in school, it's because you aren't smart. While there is often some truth to this, many times, there are deeper, more complicated explanations to problems and those who are constantly looking at the entire forest understand how to dissect a situation appropriately to uncover what they need to identify the best solution to the issue, not just the band-aid solution that seems to present itself immediately.
BETTER LIFE DECISIONS
Tree People generally are those who make knee-jerk decisions based on how they are feeling at that specific moment in time. Because they often think about how this particular "tree" makes them feel, they make decisions in life based on that single issue, rather than considering that issue in relation to the entire scenario. These are the type of people who generally seem to have "issues" with people all the time and are always pointing out what others are doing wrong. They typically aren't willing to compromise in various situations because that's not "who they are." They often jump from job to job or relationship to relationship because they can't get along with someone or are "bored" with what they do/have. They don't think about the long term ramifications of always changing so frequently and not truly committing to something for a long time. We all would like to do fun and exciting stuff as much as possible. Tree People are those who probably do it way more than they should, while Forest People are more calculated in when and with whom they do these things because they are always thinking about the big picture.
BETTER ABILITY TO HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT
Tree people often are those individuals who can get very down on themselves when things don't go their way. They look at a mistakes they made or a rejection by someone as the end of their world and, many times, they cannot get over it. Forest people, on the other hand, realize that so many things that occur to us in life are insignificant when placed in the context of the course of ours lives and the universe. So that young lady rejected you at the club? It's okay, there are many more out there. So you just didn't get that promotion that you were working so hard for? Don't worry, there are many more promotions out there for you to go after. You're not quite where you want to be in life at age 50? If you live a healthy lifestyle and make it to 80, you still have a whole 30 years to make it up. Forest People are always looking at what something means in the context of the most important things in life, not just what is occurring at that very moment. This allows them to weather storms so much better due to their positive attitude and focus on what needs to be done to improve the situation, rather than bemoan it.
While I'm not a camper and would consider sleeping in a forest as one of the worst things that I could ever spend time doing (my apologies to all you outdoorsy people out there), I can still appreciate what it teaches us about life. The forest is big and can be scary at times if you get lost in it - somewhat comparable to life. And while there is no silver bullet about how to best succeed through it, those who are consistently taking in the entire view of the forest/life have a much better chance of figuring it out, rather than those who are only focused on tree to tree.
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduate in May! - Whoop Whoop!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
BETTER ROOT-CAUSE ANALYSIS
Tree People have a tendency to only look at what's immediately in front of them to understand a problem and, sometimes, very quickly jump to conclusions about the nature of problem. Therefore, Tree People typically try to fix problems with solutions that may not be anywhere near what is needed. Due to the fact these individuals are often very short-sighted in their scope of thinking, they immediately associate the easiest answer to a problem that appears apparent. If you don't get a project completed on time, it's because you're lazy. If you are over-weight, it's because you eat bad. If you don't get good grades in school, it's because you aren't smart. While there is often some truth to this, many times, there are deeper, more complicated explanations to problems and those who are constantly looking at the entire forest understand how to dissect a situation appropriately to uncover what they need to identify the best solution to the issue, not just the band-aid solution that seems to present itself immediately.
BETTER LIFE DECISIONS
Tree People generally are those who make knee-jerk decisions based on how they are feeling at that specific moment in time. Because they often think about how this particular "tree" makes them feel, they make decisions in life based on that single issue, rather than considering that issue in relation to the entire scenario. These are the type of people who generally seem to have "issues" with people all the time and are always pointing out what others are doing wrong. They typically aren't willing to compromise in various situations because that's not "who they are." They often jump from job to job or relationship to relationship because they can't get along with someone or are "bored" with what they do/have. They don't think about the long term ramifications of always changing so frequently and not truly committing to something for a long time. We all would like to do fun and exciting stuff as much as possible. Tree People are those who probably do it way more than they should, while Forest People are more calculated in when and with whom they do these things because they are always thinking about the big picture.
BETTER ABILITY TO HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT
Tree people often are those individuals who can get very down on themselves when things don't go their way. They look at a mistakes they made or a rejection by someone as the end of their world and, many times, they cannot get over it. Forest people, on the other hand, realize that so many things that occur to us in life are insignificant when placed in the context of the course of ours lives and the universe. So that young lady rejected you at the club? It's okay, there are many more out there. So you just didn't get that promotion that you were working so hard for? Don't worry, there are many more promotions out there for you to go after. You're not quite where you want to be in life at age 50? If you live a healthy lifestyle and make it to 80, you still have a whole 30 years to make it up. Forest People are always looking at what something means in the context of the most important things in life, not just what is occurring at that very moment. This allows them to weather storms so much better due to their positive attitude and focus on what needs to be done to improve the situation, rather than bemoan it.
While I'm not a camper and would consider sleeping in a forest as one of the worst things that I could ever spend time doing (my apologies to all you outdoorsy people out there), I can still appreciate what it teaches us about life. The forest is big and can be scary at times if you get lost in it - somewhat comparable to life. And while there is no silver bullet about how to best succeed through it, those who are consistently taking in the entire view of the forest/life have a much better chance of figuring it out, rather than those who are only focused on tree to tree.
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduate in May! - Whoop Whoop!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Life Lessons from House of Cards - Frank Underwood, The Life Coach
F. U. The initials of one Francis Underwood - so fitting for a man who generally does not take no for an answer and takes control of a situation like no other. I've been Netflix binge-watching "House of Cards' to catch up to Season Three (I'm on the 3rd episode of Season Two now), and I've been enamored by the Southern Democrat from Gaffney, South Carolina and his ability to bend the world to his beck and call. (Spoiler alert: I won't tell all the juicy details, but will use examples from the series in this blog, so you may want to be careful if you're not pass episode 3 of Season 2 and plan on watching it). And while I don't condone ALL of Frank's "Ruthless Pragmatism" to get what he wants, there are some poignant lessons that one could implement in life to help climb the "life" ladder of success.
Be a Victor, Not a Victim
From the very first episode, we get a sense of who Frank Underwood is. Once he learns he is not going to be tapped for the Secretary of State position, as he was promised, he begins to formulate what his next steps are. Admittingly, he initially folded and ran to Claire sulking about how they played him and unfair this was, but he quickly gathered himself and began to formulate a plan on how he would use this setback to help put him in a better situation in the future. Victors are individuals who take lemons and make lemonade. They look at the set of circumstances that they've been given and then immediately begin to look for the silver lining that could lead to a better outcome than they originally hoped. They are glass-half-full type of people who understand that sulking and blaming others isn't going to truly improve the situation, and the only sensible thing to do from there is to begin executing plan B, or C, or D for that matter. They also look at what they could've done differently and why they are to blame for the current outcome of their situation. When Francis' attempt to have Peter Russo's water bill act failed, he recognized he was partially to blame because he had not done a good enough job helping Claire feel empowered enough that she wouldn't defy him in such a manner. Had he done a better job of giving her more earlier, she wouldn't had felt the need to jeopardize something he had on the table because she was left no choice. He felt the onus still came back to him and his ability to strategize accordingly.
Plan, Plan Again, and Then Plan Some More
Frank is by all intents and purpose a planner. He doesn't just leave things to "chance" or have a sense of what is "supposed" to happen. He is actively engaged in MAKING things happen. He puts a plan in place that enacts specific actions on the situation to encourage a definitive outcome. When he approaches a situation he thinks about it from as many angles as possible and then makes the best decision given the current set of circumstances. When trying to figure out how to get the Vice President to resign, he knew that he had to approach Matthew's first before going to Walker so Matthews would feel that he wasn't being pushed out. Yet, he understood that he had to approach Walker in a manner that made it seem like it was something that was the only obvious course of action considering the circumstances - not an easy balance to create. He did so with careful planning of what to say, when to say it, and how to say it to make sure he had just the perfect pitch to ensure everyone reacted as expected. Since one of Frank's favorite games, beside Playstation's Killzone 3, is chess, it makes sense that he plays life in a chess-like manner by thinking numerous steps ahead of his opponents at all times. Strategy is about considering what your opponent may do and then preempting them with moves that will negate anything they may do to hurt your endeavors. This takes a lot of brain power and will require one to think through all the different scenarios to make sure a key piece of information is not missing. The important thing to remember also is that Frank always has a backup plan of some kind in the event that his original plan goes astray - always a good practice to keep oneself ahead of the curve.
While this goes without saying, this is one of Frank's strongest attributes. He is consistently sizing people up and is not one who always believes what he sees is reality when it comes to various people. He made the mistake initially with Raymond Tusk and a little with Linda and learned from his mistake quickly. Using himself as the example of "what you see is not what you always get", Frank does not underestimate what others may be capable of and treats them as such. One of the main reasons Frank has been so successful in his endeavors for so long is that people consistently underestimate him. Often when people don't think much of their competition, they tend to get a sense of arrogance and lose their drive to consistently get better at their craft. When this happens, you put yourself at risk of losing a promotion or client because your competition kept working to get better while you rested on your laurels. Competition is healthy for any economy because it ensures that all businesses will continually improve their services to win the loyalty of the consumer. In life, consistently measuring oneself against what others may bring to the table keeps us working to improve our game, and by not underestimating anyone, we stay proficiently motivated to bring our A game every day.
Politics. If they are anything like House of Cards, I can truly see why our government is so dysfunctional at times. Luckily, we have the world of Netflix to preoccupy us as we spend entire weekends locked in our homes only to come out for sunlight and fresh air from time to time. While Frank Underwood is no role model by any stretch of the imagination, there are a number of lessons one can learn from this sleek talking country boy that could help one's career trajectory immensely. And while I doubt that they will ever lead you to become the President of the United States, you never know...
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech (Graduate in May! - Whoop Whoop!). You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
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