Stress...Don't Let it Ruin Your Life

As so often is the case, the person who is the most equipped to discuss a topic in detail is the individual who has suffered through it before.  This week’s blog holds a personal place in my heart as I was a major victim of it about five years ago.  I was lucky that I was able to go through and overcome this at a young age to make the quality of the rest of my life so much better, as I live through the various ups and down of the world.  However, there are a number of people who never truly get a grasp on stress and live lives of utter terror as they attempt to cope with the day to day events of their lives.  I write this week’s blog to all of those people who can’t sleep at night and wake up every morning dreading the next day.  To these people, I simply say, “CHILL OUT.” Some people accept stress as a natural part of life, and to many people, it is. However, it doesn't HAVE to be.  We have the ability to control how stress affects our lives and if you desire to live a life of happiness, you have to make sure to not let this overcome your world.  There are a few simple truths that, if you internalize and accept them, you will have a much better view and handle on stress in your life.

STRESS IS SELF CREATED AND CAN BE CONTROLLED

The concept of stress is purely psychological as opposed to an actual physical malady on our bodies.  Just as some individuals experience extreme fear when flying while others are fine, some people are completely stressed out in certain situations while others have no feeling of stress at all. Therefore, we have the ability to overcome feelings of stress and despair in our lives by refusing to allow this feeling to control us.  By understanding that we create and, therefore, control stress, we will be better able to ignore any feelings of anxiety that may come over us in times of high pressure situations.  Navy Seals are trained to be able to keep their heart rate and stress level at even keel even in the most extreme situations. By practicing to stay calm when feelings of stress come upon us, we can overcome this feeling to the point that it will eventually disappear.

HAVE A GLASS HALF FULL MENTALITY - MAKE IT A WIN/WIN

Often, we become so stressed when we think about the negative outcomes of some event in our lives that we don't take a minute to think about the positive side of these occurrences   I have learned that accepting something not going your way by thinking about how you can make a positive out of it allows you to much better deal with the day to day uncertainty of which way it could go.  For example, while you may hate that you may be breaking up with your significant other and wish that you could be with him/her forever, one bright side of that is being able to enjoy the single life for a little bit.  (Anyone who knows me knows I've enjoyed this for a while .)  Or, while you may desire to get a promotion that would put you in another pay category at work, if you don't get it, you will have fewer commitments for work and, therefore, will have time to take those salsa classes that you always wanted.  You could also use the disappointment of not getting it as a wake-up call to rededicate yourself to improving those things that held you back from the promotion.  By always spinning what could be positive from a negative outcome, we take away the power of stress to overrun our minds as we focus on how the outcome could be a win/win in the long run.

IT'S HONESTLY JUST NOT THAT SERIOUS

I say this all the time when I speak to people who are so stressed out about work and life and feel that the world is coming down on them.  If you're not a brain surgeon, police officer, or solider, (along with a few other professions), there are very few things that should really be that big of a deal at the end of the day.  The simple question I always ask people is will anybody DIE if things don't turn out your way.  If the answer to this question is NO (which it is 99% of the time), then you should just relax and let the chips fall where they may.  As little kids, remember how silly we were when we used to stress about forgetting our homework for class?  Or as teenagers, remember how stressed we would become when we were worried about matching our outfit to perfection?  These things seem silly now, but it is no different than people who stress about every little thing in their world. As humans, we can only control so much in life.  If you work hard, put in the time, and focus on doing the right things, don't stress about the outcome. Just know that you are doing everything you can to have things go your way and enjoy life.  It's really just that simple.

It has been reported that 43% of adults suffer adverse health effects from stress, while anywhere from 75%-90% of all doctors visits are for stress-related ailments or complaints.  By utilizing the simple tips above, you can cope with and manage stressful situations better when it may arise, while living a much better quality of life at the same time.

Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.

You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN

The Boston Tragedy...What We Can Learn From it.

While contemplating this week's post, I thought about a number of different things on which to focus.  As with most people this week, the Boston Bombing was heavy on my mind, as I thought about all the innocent people who lost their lives along with those whose lives were forever changed with the injuries they suffered.  From this, I thought about how we often forget how amazingly lucky we all are to be able to see another day and have all of our faculties and bodily functions for our use.  I know I am guilty of sometimes feeling sorry for myself because everything doesn't go as perfectly as I had planned or hoped.  While there is really nothing good that could come from such a tragedy, one of the great side effects of it is that it reminds us all how precious every day is and that tomorrow is never promised.  From this, I thought of several small things that we should always do to not forget this truth and daily keep the right perspective on life.

Tell your loved ones you love them as much as possible.

My sister and my mother are by far the most important women in my life.  We talk fairly often during the course of the week/month and sometimes may tend to bump heads about certain things.  The one thing that we always try to do, however, (regardless of how we may feel about a conversation that may not have pleased either of us) is to end the call with an "I love you." Always telling those you care you about that you love them at every opportunity will make the other person feel good and ensure that they know how special they are to you.  We have all heard of the tragic story of someone saying something completely hurtful to someone in anger haphazardly, thinking they will have the chance to apologize later, only to never get the chance as some tragedy occurs that takes this person from them.  Don't be one of those stories.

Look at the glass as half full

I shared a post earlier this week about how they way we view a situation can have an tremendous impact on how we approach it and the overall outcome.  By accepting a glass half full approach, we give ourselves a much better chance of improving a situation rather than if we approach it negatively.  However, a great by-product of such a view is that it allows us to truly appreciate the good things that we currently have in life as opposed to harping on the negative things that may occur from time to time.  By thinking about how much more difficult others have it, we will be able to face the day with happiness and encouragement that we are still blessed in light of imperfect situations.

Help others

During the Boston bombing, one of the images that was so readily seared into my mind was the number of people who responded to the incident with absolute courage, with no regard for themselves to do everything they could to help those who were injured. Not knowing if there was a third bomb that was waiting to be detonated, these people raced back to the site of the explosion to aid others in need.  This was also the scene during 9/11 when so many of the firefighters and policeman lost their lives running into the building to help others out.  This is one of the things in life that will make our lives so much richer when it is all said and done.  We can try to be selfish and focus only on ourselves, but to truly live a life that has a purpose, we have to consistently help others less fortunate to make sure that we are making a lasting impression on the world while remembering our great blessings at the same time.  This always pays off in the long run because you never know when you may be the one on the other end needing the help...

Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.

You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN

Communication - The Great Differentiator

It has been said that studies show that more people are afraid of public speaking than they are of death.  This seems strange to me because I guarantee if you gave anyone a choice of speaking in front of a 100 people for five minutes or taking a bullet to the head, I'm sure what any sane person would pick. At any rate, this study does bring to the forefront the fear that so many individuals have of speaking in front of a crowd.  I'm sure many of us have experienced that intense pressure the comes in our chest as we anticipate having to give a speech or respond to a question in front of a large group.  It is for this reason that many individuals never speak up in class even though they have the right answer or share their opinions at work in meetings even though they came up with the answer internally well before the group pieced it together.  The importance of good communication skills is paramount on so many levels that one will give himself or herself a great competitive advantage by working to improve this as much as possible.  So where do you start?  There are only a few small steps that will help you be well on your way to becoming an eloquent communicator to take your life and career to the next level.

READ
This seems counterintiutive since we are discussing how to become a better communicator.  Many would ask what does reading have to do with being able to speak well.  And this is the reason that many people cannot do it.  Reading is one of the best ways to get a sense of the numerous ways in which something can be communicated.  Having a well-rounded vocabulary is one of the characterstics of good communicators, as they will have the correct turn of phrase that wiil exactly convey the message or point they were trying to share.  By reading consistently, you will be able to more quickly process the different ways to create a message and will, therefore, be better on your feet at responding to things in a more succinct and clear manner.  By reading how others share their ideas in a well-structured format, you will have a better sense of how to do so as well when asked a question that requires you to state your views in a manner that is easily digestable by others...which is what many of us look for in a well-written book.

FIGHT FEAR
This is probably the biggest thing that holds back so many people.  What you will find is that someone will sit in a company meeting for 20 minutes debating to say something and then kick themselves when it is said by a senior colleage who gets credit for a GREAT idea.  The only way to get good at doing something is to do it.  It sounds simple but it is rarely followed. Even though the first couple of times might be somewhat painful, the only way to get better at speaking on your feet and being a competent, clear communicator is to fight the natural fear that we all may have at doing this and speak up at EVERY REASONABLE chance you get.  This doesn't mean "over"-communicate every idea that flies through your head, but it does mean to not allow a good idea to go unsaid. If you have a good thought and have given it a quick brain filter test for relevence, pragmatism, and overall potential effectiveness, share it with the group.  The first few times your words may not come out as eloquent as you may like, but you will only get better by seizing these opportunites to speak up to share your views.  The only way to conquer fear is to face it.  Don't ever let it hold you back.

PRACTICE
In contrast to the opinion of Allen Iverson, practice is actually the most important thing you can do to be successful in many things in life, and your ability to communicate is no different.  The only way to be able to have the correct tone, volume, timing, etc. when speaking in front of others is to practice this consistently when no one or few people are around.  Many times, we may hear someone give a great speech and think how "naturally" good they are in front of others.  What we don't see are the numerous hours that this indivdual has spent practing and practicing that speech to make sure that it's flawless when they deliver it.  By joining organization such as Toastmasters, one has the ability to consistently work on his/her craft to be more comfortable in almost any situation in life that requires impromptu or prepared communication ability.

In today's society, good communication skills are not only for someone who desires to be a public speaker, but also for anyone who desires to gain a competitive advantage in life.  If you have a job in which you have to speak to anybody for any reason, having the ability to effectively communicate will separate you from the masses who fear it dramatically.  I'm not 100 percent sure, but I'm guessing it's a little easier than dying.

Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.

You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN

How to Create the Job of Your Dreams

Eh...Eh...Eh...that is the sound of the alarm clocking going off Monday morning when millions of people are getting ready for another week at the office.  Many will hit snooze to get a couple more minutes of sleep before going to jobs they absolutely hate.  Some will roll over to get a couple more minutes of "snuggling time" with their significant other, while others will call in sick if they think they can get away with it.  For those who make it in, they go into the office each day and dread what they do and, sometimes, the people with whom they do it.

Fortunately, I am lucky enough to work for a company and have a job in which that is not the case, but I do realize that my ultimate life goal and passion will not be fulfilled if I only do my current work for the rest of my life.  We are all intrinsically built to be successful at something, and for those who are working a current profession in which you are not happy, you should look at what you can do to change your current situation to create the life in which you desire.  There are basically two ways to go about doing this:  1. You can look for a new profession to find something that gives you more excitement and enjoyment in life or 2. You can look at starting your own business to do the work that naturally inspires the best out of you.  Both of the choices have the same set of self-inspecting questions that must be answered first for you to move forward with either, however.  These questions are:

What are your passions?
This is often the best place to start.  While doing an assessment of yourself, it often best to start with what things, when you think about them in relation to your future or just activities that are coming down the road, truly excite you. This could be something that seems semi-trivial, such as planning a party for a friend, working out with a buddy, or giving advice to a youth who is struggling in school and/or life.  It doesn't matter.  Whatever it is that truly excites you when you think about doing it and when you are in the midst of doing it, is something to consider to make a future profession. Bill Gates loved to program and could do it for hours on hours without a break.  Jillian Michaels (America's Biggest Loser Trainer) tried many different jobs and failed before she realized she was absolutely in love with helping people transform their lives through a healthier lifestyle.  Both of these individuals took something that others were also doing, and perhaps had the same feelings of passion for it, and used it to make their lives super successful by taking it to the next level.

What are your talents?
The first step of identifying your passions is relatively easy, but it is this second step that requires you to think a little and be very honest with yourself in relation to what your passions are and your ability to execute on them to create a life of purpose.  If you love helping people improve their lives through fitness and healthy eating, but you don't model the lifestyle that you are encouraging others to live, then your overall ability to be successful will be decreased based on your lack of talent of discipline to do what you are encouraging others to do.  Talents are the skills at which we are very adept and allow us to be successful at our endeavors.  Some people have natural talents that are 100 percent in line with their passions and goals and allow them to be super successful at an early stage in their lives. Those are the few "chosen ones," if you will, who seem to live a life of success from day one.  The rest of the world (and majority of the other also super successful people in the world) had to identify their current talents, how they matched up with the talents needed to be successful at their passion, and, if they were lacking, develop a plan to work hard on becoming proficient enough at that talent to be successful in their passionate endeavor.  This is the step that many people have trouble with because nothing that is worth anything is going to be easy.  There will be a talent that you may currently possess that needs to be developed to a greater level for you to be in a position to make it your life's work, and you have to be honest with yourself that you are willing to put in the hard work and effort to develop it.  If someone loves playing basketball but doesn't have the self discipline to practice consistently even when he or she doesn't feel like it, the chances of them making it to the professional leagues are not good.  If someone has a passion for helping others through the application of medicine and health education, but they don't have the wherewithal to consistently study to increase their knowledge base and level of overall aptitude in this area, they cannot think that they will reach the level of success needed to make this their life's work.  Everything worth something requires work and effort and creating the job of your dreams is no different.

Where can you start today?
After doing the initial first steps, the biggest mistake I think people make is they figure everything has to be perfect for them to be able to move forward with any type of plan to begin making this their life's work.  That is not the case at all.  First of all, things will NEVER be perfect. There will always be an obstacle that will make things so much easier if it was removed or something that you feel you need to do first before moving forward with your desire. Second, however, there are so many small things you can do to get you started on this path.  It can be something as simple as beginning a blog like this one if you desire to be a writer one day to consistently work on your penmanship ability. It could be beginning to digest everything you can on natural hair care products and healing remedies if you desire to start your own company selling this one day.  There are so many small things that you can do that will begin to put you on the path to achieving your success and ultimate life purpose, and those who start with these small things TODAY will separate themselves from the masses who always want to start them tomorrow.

Work is called work for a reason.  It is not always easy and may not be something that we exactly love to do all the time. However, this is not a call to quit your job just because you had a bad day at the office.  This happens to all of us and is the nature of life and the work world. This is a call, however, to assess how happy you are in your current position and, if you are not happy, begin to put a strategy together of how you can create an overall more meaningful and happy life by working towards doing something that is more natural and impacting to the person whom you are at your core.  This type of work will always make it easy to jump out of bed without even thinking about hitting the snooze button.  I can't say it won't make you want to get a little more "snuggle time," however.

Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.

You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN

How to Become a 20-percenter.

Earlier this week, I wrote about the concept of the 20-percenters and how your connection with this group could take you to the top in almost any profession.  The 20-percenters philosophy is based on the well known Pareto principle in which Vilfredo Pareto observed that 20 percent of Italy's population controlled 80% of the wealth of the nation.  From there, he came up with the concept of unequal distribution, in which you he saw that throughout many areas of life there was a unequal relationship between input and output.  This basically stated that there are truly only a few things that cause our success and if we are able to do these few things well, it will separate us from the masses.  It also related to the fact that there were a small group of people in the world who had recognized this fact and they were the individuals who were the most successful in our society.  So, you may ask yourself, how can you become a 20-percenter?  There are a number of things that will lead you into this direction, but, for simplicity's sake, I broke it down into three for your review and adoption.

1. Raise your standards beyond the norm
The first step in coming a 20-percenter is to stop measuring your success on the success and abilities of others.  To do this, you must understand that what the average person is able to achieve should not be your barometer for your life.  By the very definition, average is nothing special.  You should not measure your success and what you expect from yourself based on what others would see as reasonable and acceptable.  To do this, you have to consistently ask more of yourself from a day to day dedication standpoint to push yourself beyond the usual realms of expectation to a level that many people would find extreme and "over the top."  These are words that you want to hear others say of you on a day to day basis.  You should strive for others to feel that you are a machine - someone who might "burn out" with your work ethic and dedication to being successful.  By doing this, you are separating yourself from the masses who do what everyone else does and, therefore, gets the same results.

2. Don't be afraid to go against the grain
Often 20-percenters are those who are willing to step outside the box and push the envelope somewhat when it comes to societal norms and acceptances.  They are always looking at various rules and regulations of our world and asking the questions of why or why not.  They challenge the status-quo and understand that this world was created by us and, subsequently, the rules and regulations of this world were created by us.  Therefore, there is a good chance that a rule that was adopted 20 years ago could be unsuited for today's time or incorrectly adopted in the first place.  20-percenters are not afraid to speak up for something they believe in, no matter how unpopular it may be. They are focused on truth and what is dear to their heart, so when something presents itself that may be rejected by the masses, they are not afraid to put their name on it and stand up for what they believe in and what is right.  The originally unpopular are often the ones who change the world.

3. Always Think
The main reason that the 20-percenters stand out from the majority of individuals in society is because they do not allow what others tell them to rule their lives.  They may listen to it and consider it holistically in any decision they may make, but, ultimately, they take the time to truly think through different scenarios before making a decision.  There are so many of us who participate in activities or make decisions for our lives without truly taking any time to think "why" we desire that decision for ourselves. Also we don't think if we truly do want that or if it was something that we subconsciously adopted because our parents/friends/co-workers wanted the same thing and we automatically figured it was for us as well.  20-percenters don't accept what others have decided for their lives as automatically their own, but think through every decision to make sure they are 100 percent bought in and it was something that they desired and not what others desired for them.  They consistently consider everything in relation to their lives and make the decisions that is best for them...not their parents...not their friends...not John and Susie down the street.

The desire to be special dates back to the beginning of time.  While the aforementioned tips will not ensure that you will achieve everything you desire, it will make sure that you are working to be in the small group of people who have so much impact on the world.  By raising your standards, going against the grain, and just thinking, you put yourself in a very distinct class and, one day, may be able to call your a 20-percenter.

Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.

You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN

Variety...the Spice of Life.

Anyone who knows me know that I am very much a creature of habit. I've been joked about how much of a "planner" I am and how I always like to be in control.  To create this control, I have often found myself doing the same activities and visiting the same well known places for my endeavors.  Lately, however, I've been trying to do a much better job of switching things up a bit by seeing what the "other side" has to offer and have experiences outside of my usual comfort zone.  Pleasantly, I've experienced great results from this.  From this, I realized that overall, variety in life is a very positive thing. We can live in our small world and do the same things over and over, but if we take the risk and consistently look for things that are new and different to attempt, we have way more to gain than to lose.  Some of these benefits are:

It can help you grow to become more well rounded and comfortable with different types of people

In the gym, the concept of muscle confusion is huge in the way of becoming as strong as possible.  By consistently doing the same types of exercises over and over, you body become accustomed to it and adapts so that the intensity and growth potential of your muscles from the exercises lessens over time.  This is very comparable to always doing the same activities over and over again. By trying different things, you have a great opportunity to grow in a number of different areas in your life.  One of these areas can be your relationship with your co-workers. Trying different things in life is helpful in that it allows you to have a insight into topics or conversations in which otherwise you would not have been able to be participate.  This can be very helpful in a corporate environment in which you have individuals who are from all walks of life and can have a tremendous impact on your career.  By trying different things with them and stepping "outside of the box" to participate in activities that you usually wouldn't, you increase the chances that you can bond with your co-workers and have a better overall relationship with them.  This often goes a long way when individuals are put in line for promotions and questions are asked of the masses of their general impression or connection to others in the office.

It can give you a different perspective on how to approach and react to problems or issues.

Often, we live in our own self-prescribed bubble and have no true sense of what else is out there in life. We respond to problems and approach situations utilizing the best decision making experiences we have based on our background and what we know to be true.  However, by opening up your world to different activities, places, people, etc. you increase your understanding of the numerous ways to approach problems and make decision based on different thought processes of which that you may not have been aware.  Different cultures have different ways of handling relationship, work, and life issues in general.  By consistently looking for different ways to interact with others different from us and putting ourselves out there to participate or be a part of something in which we usually would have declined, we increase the chances that we will be able to gleam that small nugget that can mean all the difference in the next big decision or dilemma we face.  Just as workplace diversity is not about having different cultures and ethnicity for the sake of having it, but for the great ability of these different people to add value to the perspective and decision making ability of the business, personal life variety will help you make better decisions for your personal and professional life.

It helps you appreciate what you already have

Often when we live in a bubble, we can begin to moan and groan about how we wish things were better and how we deserve better from life in general. By opening ourselves up to experience different things and see what "the other side" may look like, we can gain a valuable re-appreciation for the quality of what we currently have in life.  Spending time doing something that is outside of your element may also be an encouragement to help you realize how much of a blessing it is to truly be good at the things with which you are already comfortable.  To be great at something takes work and you should feel proud of any major talents you may have. Often, when we do something well for so long, we forget the tremendous amount of work and effort it took to get there. By stepping out and trying something different, we can remember that feeling of being a novice and appreciate the hours of work and effort that it took to master something. Similar to how Michael Jordan stint at baseball invigorated his love and appreciation for basketball, by trying things that are "outside our wheelhouse," we can do this for ourselves as well.

Variety.  It seems like a no-brainer that this is something that we should all have in our lives. However, one would be surprised at the number of people who become so "comfortable" with their lives that they don't realize that they have closed their minds off to trying anything new that is outside of their comfort zone.  As kids, we are often ready to try anything new because we are fresh and vibrant and always looking to experience something different.  Unfortunately, as we mature, this excitement at life tends to dissipate as we become adults and "grow up." Today, you should fight this feeling and look for something new to work into your life to help you truly enjoy everything this wonderful world and your wonderful life has to offer.  You never know what...or whom...you may find along the way.

Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.

You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN

Life...One Big NASCAR race. Enjoy it.

My apologies for missing the blog last weekend (if anyone actually reads this and cares), but I had some extenuating circumstances that would not allow me to do so. These "extenuating circumstances" are actually the focus of this week's blog. I was put in another great situation somewhat similar to/somewhat different from the "awesome" lunch I had about three weeks ago (for those who don't quite get sarcasm, by "awesome" I meant it's sucked), but I think I may have done a little bit of a better job with this one.  While in the midst of this incident, and subsequently afterwards, I continually attempted to assess how I got myself into this position and what I could have done differently to have prevented it. I kicked myself for not going with my gut instinct and not going through with it in the first place because of my initial feeling that I just wouldn't like it any way.  I questioned how much better things would have been if it didn't happen and then a thought occurred to me.  That's not the case at all.  Even though the situation turned out to be somewhat of a disaster, I would not have NOT wanted it to happen for many reasons.  And this is the case in life. Often, we make decisions that turn out to be wrong and then we may chastise ourselves for doing so, but in the end, it is often these "bad decisions" that give us unexpected benefits as well.  Some of these are:

YOU CAN KNOW FOR SURE WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE (SHOUT OUT TO CHIEF KEEF)
As I mentioned earlier, the situation at hand involved me doing something that I initially would have never done before.  I talked myself into trying it for a friend and decided why not give it a try.  While I was 1000 percent correct that it was not my kind of environment or event, I wouldn't have been able to say that unequivocally had I not given it a shot.  Sometimes you have to actually go through with something that you think you won't like to give yourself the affirmation this is true.  As they say, you never know unless you try. And on the flip side, it could be like my discovery of fish tacos. For the longest time, I would never try them because the very concept of them sounded disgusting.  Little did I know that after trying them, they would become the equivalent of the nectar to the gods to me. (I joke here, but seriously fish tacos are awesome. If you haven't tried them, you're missing out on one of the small joys of life...and quality Mexican restaurants).

YOU CAN LEARN NEW THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF
So during the course of the endeavor, I was put in situations that, had I been the person I was 2.5 years ago, I would have handled entirely different.  And while I admit, I didn't handle everything perfectly, I felt somewhat good about the restraint I was able to show in some of my decisions and actions.  Sometimes, when we are put in situations that are less than ideal, many of our "saintly proprieties" can be tested.  I was able to continue to keep my head and wits about me and make decisions that, when I look back on it, were pretty good in light of the circumstances.  I had the feeling that I had grown and matured as an individual but hadn't been put in a situation that allowed me to truly test this in this capacity until last weekend. I felt good knowing that I was able to actually "practice what I preach" and continue to be positive despite being in a situation that may not have merited it at all times.

YOU CAN STILL HAVE FUN
At the end of the day, I did have a good time.  While there are many things that I wish didn't happen or would have happened differently, I can't say that the trip was a "total" disaster.  I did this with someone who is a good person and I consider a friend.  As with anything in life, it is what you make of it, and I did my best to make it as fun as possible for myself.  This can be the case in any situation in life. Whether it is a job that you hate, a person who gets on your last nerve but you have to interact with on a consistent basis, or an event that you have to attend but hate, you can make the decision of whether you are going to allow this to drag you down and be defeated or are you going to look on the bright side of things and have fun. Life is too short to allow any extended amount of time (more than about a minute) of sadness based on any situation.  Take a minute and think about how you got in it, kick yourself for not making a decision that could have prevented it, and then move on to making it the best "worst" decision that you made.

As I wrote yesterday, life is a big NASCAR race.  Often we are traveling along at break neck speeds and just do what we think is best at the time.  In retrospect, we later realize that we should have "passed high instead of going low," but you just have to take the good with the bad and enjoy it as much as possible...and try not to wreck along the way.

Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.

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