My 3-STOP Philosophy

Recently, I've had a lot of conversations with individuals about where their life is now as opposed to where they "thought" it would be.  From these discussions, I have heard the same reoccurring themes of why this is the case.  These themes aren't in any way different from what we all know, but, at times, we all have the tendency to allow these things to mask the truth of what we should do to overcome these obstacles. From these conversations, I've developed three simple STOPS that will enable individuals to stop feeling sorry for themselves and take control of their lives.

STOP PROCRASTINATING
Sounds simple,but it's one of the things that hold so many people back all the time. They consistently tell themselves that they don't have the time to do something or the situation isn't perfect, so they'll put this off until later. What happens is that later turn into much later, which eventually turns into never.  The trick that most of us use to justify why we have to wait to do something sounds noble or correct.  We tell ourselves we are focusing on some other goal that is more important so this other thing will have to wait.  People put off starting to diet and exercise until the beginning of the year because "they just started a new job and want to focus on that first." They put off going to school and improving their marketability to get a new job because their child just started at a new school and they want to put focus on him/her first.  The crazy thing about this rationale is that individuals forget that there IS a way to do it all at the same time.  We often try to make situations mutually exclusive when they can easily be collectively inclusive, and, by doing so, have a greater exponential impact on the quality of our lives.  By exercising and dieting, one will often have more energy and greater focus to be able to dedicate oneself to his or her job even more.  By going to school and, subsequently, getting a promotion or different job, one is actually being a better role model to her or his child, while also increasing one's ability to provide the academic resources needed to help the child succeed through school. There's always going to be a reason you CAN'T do something. Find the reasons you can.

STOP MAKING EXCUSES (BE A BETTER PARENT TO YOURSELF)
This is very close to the stop procrastinating axiom, except that it goes a step further by not even considering taking an action EVER because of some "legitimate" reason.  The thinking is often very closely related in that one will give a good reason why she or he cannot do something based on things that just will not allow this to happen.  People say they can't lose any weight because they are born with an overactive pituitary gland or thyroid (I love when I hear this). They can't get to work early or on time because they just aren't a morning people. They can't learn to cook because they just don't have the time or energy. I compare these people to bad parents who are always making excuses for why their kids behave badly. Children don't become law abiding citizens by luck.  It's associated with the hard work and discipline of the parents to make sure kids stay on task, learn right from wrong, and don't deviate from the lessons they learn. When we don't hold ourselves accountable and push ourselves to do that which we know we should, we are like those lazy parents who let their kids run wild and free that we just want to smack at times (the kids and the parents). Don't make yourself a smack-worthy parent.

STOP BLAMING OTHERS AND "SITUATIONS"
The biggest difference I've seen between people who generally live a pretty successful life and those who seems to flounder throughout life and never truly progress in any capacity is that the former group rarely, if ever, blames an outcome on a "situation" or other people. They consistently are pointing the finger at themselves when something doesn't go as planned and will in no way, shape, or form deny they are responsible for what occurred.  On the contrary, the latter group has a tendency to blame negative situations on everything from the weather to the astrology (You know those Tauruses are just bull-headed).  It's amazing how many people truly believe they have no control or hold no blame in the outcome of a situation in which they were completely involved.  I've found that the more successful one is, the more likely she or he is to actually take responsibility that most people would consider as being out of one's control.  This instinct is one that comes from a feeling of a responsibility for all situations and a proactive view of what one could've done better/differently to prevent someone from taking an action that most would have never seen coming. It's a view that keeps these individuals steadily growing and getting better at "seeing around the corner." - a trait that will always keep them progressing and improving their plight in life.

Procrastination. Excuses. Blame.  The three deadly "sins" that hold so many people back in life. By simply applying my 3-STOP methodology, one has the ability to easily overcome these tendencies and create the life one desires.  While it may prove challenging at first, with time, the feeling of control that one will begin to feel over one's life as of result of this will be well worth the fight.  And if you don't do start doing this TODAY, you don't have anyone else to blame but yourself, you smack-worthy parent.

Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech. You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN