Balance. Since Gen X'ers learned many lessons from their divorced parents in the 1990s and 2000s, many people began seeing balance as more important to their overall success in life than to just make it to the corner office at work. While so many people were focused on achieving great things at their office or career, they were missing out on a lot of other things that they could possibly regret at a later stage in life. Most of these things revolved around time with their kids and family. They were focused on having more of those life events that allowed them to look back on life and feel proud of what they had accomplished in relation to raising their children and building a family structure that they could be proud of. And while this is a noble focus, there were many who woke up one day at 40 or 50 and realized that for the last 18-25 years or so, they had completely forgotten what it was like to live a life that was not completely revolved around someone else. These people would often be at a loss for what to do next with their lives and would then have to find a way to learn how to live life again as an independent person with their own goals and dreams and hopes. In this week's KMM Views, I want to explore a new type of life balance that is not focused on the original dichotomy of choice: work and family, but instead brings a more holistic approach to achieving a more well-rounded life that add three more elements to the mix. This new balance will ultimately allow one to live a more rewarding life overall and creates, what I like to call, a Five-Pointed Star of Balance.
Outside of Work Friends - Often when people begin to date someone seriously or get married, they have a tendency to make a decision to put their friends to the back burner. This often leads to this individual only spending time with the people she/he works with to try to build deeper relationships for her/his success. While this is definitely a wise thing to do, one cannot forget about the numerous people who have been there for you from day one and who know you best. Making sure that one continues to hone and develop these relationships is imperative to one's life, as these people can often give perspective about various decisions in life and consistently "check" you when they recognize something in you that someone who hasn't known you as well wouldn't recognize. They can also be a good indicator of how much you have grown as they can see the full transformation from where you were to where you are now. One can achieve this by always making time for those friends by scheduling an outing with them every other week or once a month. You have to have a scheduled time to do it, because if you don't it, it will get lost in the "shuffle" of the day. The great thing about this is that it will give you a mental break from your every day life to mentally relax and recharge as will as teach your kids a valuable lesson about the importance of true friendship and how it takes INTENTIONAL work to actually foster and maintain it.
Personal Hobbies/Interests - Having personal hobbies and interests allows an individual to continually "dream" about the different things that she/he may want to accomplish one day. As kids, one of the most exciting things of growing up was the thought of what our lives were going to be like when we reached adulthood. Often we had some type of personal interest that we focused on and wanted to build upon to achieve some level of greatness. As we become adults, many of us lose these every day hobbies and interests because of the lack of time and never continue to develop any new skill for ourselves. One of the needs of the human brain is to continually learn and grow to stay mentally sharp and prepared for new challenges. This only occurs when we intentionally work to develop a new skill that requires our ultimate attention and focus. This needs to be something that we purposely have to make time for and practice to get better. This is also great for our kids as it serves as a model to demonstrate to them that "mommy and daddy" both are willing to put in the hard work it takes to improve as something - an idea that should translate to them applying this to their academic and athletic attempts to improve.
Academic and Cultural Development - Often when one reaches a level of competence at a job or in a field, one has the tendency to allow this to be her/his threshold of knowledge, and there is no longer any intentional effort to improve in this endeavor. This can apply to one's job or just life in general. This last point on the Five-Pointed Star of Balance is about continuously working to improve one's overall knowledge about different things in the world in general. People who live the most fulfilling lives are the one's who tend to know a little about a lot of different things. For this reason, they often have a lot of different perspectives on how to approach situations in life, which many times gives them the ability to make better decisions as whole. We live in an enormous world in which the dynamics of academic and cultural interaction are forever changing. It is only by making this a priority in our lives, will we then be able to continue to grow and enrich our own lives by challenging ourselves to not just life in a bubble but to learn more and more about others and the outside world. This type of world approach will also encourage one's kids to be more world-centric as opposed to region-centric - a trait that will no doubt be a differentiator for them as we move towards a more globally-minded world.
The Five-Pointed Star of Balance. This is important for anyone who desires to live a more enriched life than just the ordinary day to day that most people live. To do so, however, takes more of an effort than the usual balance between work and family (that's the norm). One has to intentionally work to develop the other three aspects of our Five-Pointed Star to live a life of continual growth and excitement that will make the next day more enjoyable and exciting than the last. And while one may feel bad because it will take some time away from what one is able to dedicate to one's kids, it ultimately comes back to be a teacher/model to them of how to life a more well-balanced life themselves - a feat that isn't easy, but worth every amount of effort and investment it takes to achieve it.
Ken Middleton is an Account Manager at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech. You can follow his daily quotes of inspiration and motivation on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIN
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