As so often is the case, the person who is the most equipped
to discuss a topic in detail is the individual who has suffered through it
before. This week’s blog holds a
personal place in my heart as I was a major victim of it about five years
ago. I was lucky that I was able to go
through and overcome this at a young age to make the quality of the rest of my
life so much better, as I live through the various ups and down of the
world. However, there are a number of
people who never truly get a grasp on stress and live lives of utter terror as they
attempt to cope with the day to day events of their lives. I write this week’s blog to all of those
people who can’t sleep at night and wake up every morning dreading the next
day. To these people, I simply say, “CHILL OUT.” Some people accept stress as a
natural part of life, and to many people, it is. However, it doesn't HAVE to
be. We have the ability to control how
stress affects our lives and if you desire to live a life of happiness, you
have to make sure to not let this overcome your world. There are a few simple truths that, if you
internalize and accept them, you will have a much better view and
handle on stress in your life.
STRESS IS SELF CREATED AND CAN BE CONTROLLED
The concept of stress is purely psychological as opposed to an actual physical malady on our bodies.
Just as some individuals experience extreme fear when flying while
others are fine, some people are completely stressed out in certain situations
while others have no feeling of stress at all. Therefore, we have the ability
to overcome feelings of stress and despair in our lives by refusing to allow this
feeling to control us. By understanding
that we create and, therefore, control stress, we will be better able to ignore
any feelings of anxiety that may come over us in times of high pressure
situations. Navy Seals are trained to be
able to keep their heart rate and stress level at even keel even in the most
extreme situations. By practicing to stay calm when feelings of
stress come upon us, we can overcome this feeling to the point that
it will eventually disappear.
Often, we become so stressed when we think about the negative outcomes of some event in our lives that we don't take a minute to think about the positive side of these occurrences I have learned that accepting something not going your way by thinking about how you can make a positive out of it allows you to much better deal with the day to day uncertainty of which way it could go. For example, while you may hate that you may be breaking up with your significant other and wish that you could be with him/her forever, one bright side of that is being able to enjoy the single life for a little bit. (Anyone who knows me knows I've enjoyed this for a while 
.) Or, while you may desire to get a promotion that would put you in another pay category at work, if you don't get it, you will have fewer commitments for work and, therefore, will have time to take those salsa classes that you always wanted. You could also use the disappointment of not getting it as a wake-up call to rededicate yourself to improving those things that held you back from the promotion. By always spinning what could be positive from a negative outcome, we take away the power of stress to overrun our minds as we focus on how the outcome could be a win/win in the long run.
.) Or, while you may desire to get a promotion that would put you in another pay category at work, if you don't get it, you will have fewer commitments for work and, therefore, will have time to take those salsa classes that you always wanted. You could also use the disappointment of not getting it as a wake-up call to rededicate yourself to improving those things that held you back from the promotion. By always spinning what could be positive from a negative outcome, we take away the power of stress to overrun our minds as we focus on how the outcome could be a win/win in the long run.
IT'S HONESTLY JUST NOT THAT SERIOUS
I say this all the time when I speak to people who are so stressed out about work and life and feel that the world is coming down on them. If you're not a brain surgeon, police officer, or solider, (along with a few other professions), there are very few things that should really be that big of a deal at the end of the day. The simple question I always ask people is will anybody DIE if things don't turn out your way. If the answer to this question is NO (which it is 99% of the time), then you should just relax and let the chips fall where they may. As little kids, remember how silly we were when we used to stress about forgetting our homework for class? Or as teenagers, remember how stressed we would become when we were worried about matching our outfit to perfection? These things seem silly now, but it is no different than people who stress about every little thing in their world. As humans, we can only control so much in life. If you work hard, put in the time, and focus on doing the right things, don't stress about the outcome. Just know that you are doing everything you can to have things go your way and enjoy life. It's really just that simple.
It has been reported that 43% of adults suffer adverse health effects from stress, while anywhere from 75%-90% of all doctors visits are for stress-related ailments or complaints. By utilizing the simple tips above, you can cope with and manage stressful situations better when it may arise, while living a much better quality of life at the same time.
Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and services. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.
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