The people who truly know me are well aware that I'm a momma's boy. There are no qualms about it: Darlene Middleton is, and will always be, my first love. She has been one of the greatest sources of inspiration to me and has always put me and my siblings first before anything else in her life. While thinking about the numerous gifts I could get her for Christmas and her rapidly approaching 56th birthday, I thought about how there isn't a present that exist that is truly able to convey the appreciation I have for her and what she has done for me throughout my life. I thought about her age and how tomorrow isn't promised and about all the amazing things people would have to say about her on the tragic day of her funeral. This led me to think about how she would never be able to hear those words and ask the question why, as a society, do we wait to give such an amazing ceremony of appreciation and greatness to our loved ones when they are not there to hear and appreciate it. For this reason, I've decided to give my mom what I would call a"Living Funeral"in 2013 and would encourage others to do so for their parents as well.
Okay, so I know the name sounds a little eerie, but I think it will drive home the point. Most people think of death as being so far off that they often have to time to get to things later in life. By establishing the practice of Living Funerals, we will not only appreciate more the impact of others in our lives, but also appreciate our own time on this earth as well. This ritual will allow individuals to show appreciation for their love and dedication in our lives while they are able to see and hear it. We see various religious, entertainment, and sports organizations do this all the time. Even Tim Tebow got his speech engraved at Florida while he was still there! I move to make this an accepted practice by everyone for their parents starting in 2013. The first Living Funeral should happen when the individual turns 50 and others will follow every 10 years so this person will not forget the impact they have had on others. This doesn't have to be a super extravangant event with everyone that this person has ever met but should be large enough that the individual will feel the impact of their effect on others' lives.
By making this a normal accepted practice of everyday culture, the impact will actually be two fold: First, the obvious impact is that it will allow the person to truly feel they have been appreciated by their kids and know their life has been worth it up to this point. Our lives are only made purposeful if we are able to leave the world a better place than when we arrived and by having people tell us the great impact we have had on them, it would help us have a true sense that our lives have been worthy up to that point. Second, if we are turning 40 or so and feel that up to that point our Living Funeral wouldn't have many participants with anything good to say about us, then we could use it as an impetus to gut check ourselves and change our actions to not make this the case in 10 years. As the name implies, it will help us remember our own mortality and take an assessment of what we have done with our lives up to that point and work hard to make our Living Funeral something special.
While there may still be some kinks to work out, I implore everyone who has older parents to consider adopting this practice in their family. We often take for granted that our parents must know the tremendous impact they have had on us and our lives. By giving them a Living Funeral, sooner rather than later, we can make sure this is the case.
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