The Power of Being Nice Instead of Angry in "Challenging" Situations

When I was in college, I was lucky enough to land a job at a restaurant waiting tables at the age of 19.  I did this for the next seven years until I was 26 and cannot begin to tell you the number of lessons I learned on the job in relation to life.  Seems weird, but entirely true.  It's amazing how many observations you can make about the human race when you have to interact with them in relation to their food.  LOL!

One of the keys observations I made that has always stuck with me is the power of being nice instead of angry when a situation occurs in which you feel like you've been wronged. You would often see a marked difference in how two people would handle the exact same situation in two totally different manners.  When one person's steak was overcooked, one individual would fly off the loose end and demand to speak to the manager while the other would not let it bother him, get a refill on his drink and continue to enjoy the company and conversation. From this, I surmised that being nice and respectable to people regardless of the situation is generally the way to go for numerous reasons.

IS GETTING MAD GOING TO MAKE THE SITUATION BETTER?

99 times of of 100 the answer to the question is no.  Getting mad or upset often doesn't allow one to think as clear as he/she would like and the individual ends up saying or doing something stupid.  By just having patience and understanding the circumstances were not created on purpose, we will often have a much better chance of improving the situation than by the opposite reaction.  As the saying goes, "You can catch more flies with sugar than vinegar." This is often true in life when faced with a difficult situation.  By being nice and understanding, the opposite party is way more likely to do whatever it takes to make the situation better.

IT'S BETTER FOR YOUR HEALTH

In a study done by the American Heath Association, it was proven that individuals who experienced heightened episodes of angers were 16.7 times more likely to experience hearth arrhythmia than individuals who did not report moments of anger.  Couple this with the feeling of being flustered and having noticeable shortness of breath, and it is apparent this is something we should avoid as much as possible to keep our heart and health strong. There are so many different things in life outside of our control that could harm our health, it is very important to take heed to those things which we can.

IT SETS A BETTER EXAMPLE FOR OUR YOUNG ADMIRERS

While we often think that getting mad in the appropriate situation is justified based on the circumstances, the young people in our lives that look up to us for guidance and behavior modeling often do not have this sense of discernment.  They only see our reaction, and, as with everything else, will probably try to duplicate it in their day to day interactions. This could lead to them reacting to seemingly trivial situations at school or home in a similar manner because they saw mommy or daddy do this at the store/restaurant.

I'm not saying I am a saint by any means and will always voice my opinion in a situation in which I feel that an injustice has been done.  However, when it comes to being calm, poised, and intellectual in my protest as opposed to angry, loud, and belligerent, I'll choose the former any day of the week.

Ken Middleton is an Account Executive at TEKsystems that specializes in IT staffing and sales. He is a graduate of UNC-Pembroke and current MBA student at Scheller College of Business at Georgia Tech.

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